My Tent of Wonder
I’ve been asking myself lately, Why am I here?
Why am I a Spiritual Director?
Why do I call myself a Christian in a time and place where the word seems to have lost all meaning? I have so many questions and doubts and eye-rolls.
But I’m still here.
I’ll tell you why:
I’m completely enamored by the Mystery of it All.
The older I get and the further along my path I travel, I find myself less and less certain and more and more full of wonder.
And, I prefer it this way. How dreadful and unimaginative CERTAINTY must be. No, I much prefer WONDER and MYSTERY where there is so much to explore and discover! In fact, I have said to my spiritual director and to my friends that Wonder is the Tent or Tabernacle or Sanctuary where I meet God.
So, I call it my Tent of Wonder. It is a protected, holy, peaceful, beautiful space in the imagination of my heart where I host others to rest in the Presence of God.
“I don’t know exactly what a prayer is, but I do know how to pay attention.”
-Mary Oliver, The Summer Day
My Trellis of Tradition
To give the Mystery a bit of shape and tangibility, I enjoy the framework or trellis of my religious tradition. I recognize that in a different time and place, this framework would look different. But for me, here and now, I enjoy the trellis of the Episcopal Church, the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises, and the practice of Spiritual Direction.
It’s upon this trellis that my faith grows “further up and further in” toward Beauty and Truth.
The Tent of Wonder and the Trellis of Tradition. These are the spaces where I find communion with God and the saints. These spaces are precious to me.
A Prayer-Writing Exercise
From time to time, I have enjoyed writing the Lord’s Prayer in my own words. After all, apparently Jesus said “Pray like this”… perhaps giving us the freedom to use our own words. It seems like a nice exercise for naming one’s personal theology. Sitting in my Tent of Wonder along side my Trellis of Tradition, here is my latest version:
Perfect Love, Great Mother-Father, through whom the Cosmos is continually being born -
You are One. Perfect. Good. And Beautiful.
May the Mystery of Your Realm of Peace forever unfurl in our present reality. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and tomorrow.
May Your Abundant Goodness soak and shower us with every good thing and thought that we need for each moment. There is always enough and more.
Where we believe the lies of not-enoughness and cause harm to one another, our world, and ourselves,
May we all be tenderly healed.
May we journey along a path of Beauty and Goodness - the path of our deepest desires. Step by step. Day by day.
May this path lead us all to where we belong - together, In You - The Womb of the Cosmos - where Love never ends, but grows and glows and flows forever and ever - beyond space and time.
Amen.
Let’s Connect
If any of my words resonate with you, you seem like a kindred spirit and oh how I would love to meet you. We can wonder and explore together. I’m quite good at paying attention to the nuances and asking questions to inspire deeper wanderings.
I have been actively serving as a Spiritual Director since 2017, trained through Sustainable Faith. I recently completed my training to lead the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius through Sustainable Faith UK/Europe. I am also a yoga instructor and active contributor to The Yoga Abbey, an online Christ-centered yoga platform. I am an instructor in their 200 hour and 300 hour Yoga Teacher Training with my content area being Contemplative Christian Spirituality.
I also really love leading journaling workshops, both online and in person.
In September, I will once again co-lead a contemplative yoga retreat in Greece with my very dear friend Caroline. Our theme this year is “Mothered by God.”
When I’m not creating spaces for others to enter into the loving presence of Mystery, I am baking chocolate chip cookies for my two kids and husband, reading science fiction, and traveling the world as much as possible.
In fact, I love travel so much that I created and produced a brilliant little guided travel journal. You can learn more about it here.
